Wii Adult Pitches

Since 40 and 50-year-olds seem to like the Wii as much as 10-year-olds I figured I'd help Nintendo out and give them some new game concepts they can sell to that older demographic.

Wii Camaro – Fix it, wax it, and sit in it with the radio on! Take it out for a spin through suburbia once a week but never over 20 miles-per-hour! It’s the ultimate mid-life crisis simulator!

Wii Traffic – Find ingenious ways around traffic and then brag to your friends! Simulates real city traffic patterns and supports up to 4-players on the Wii Network so New Yorkers and Los Angelinos can actually prove who has a crappier commute!

Wii Fantasy Football – Pick your starting line-up and then watch three-hour long simulated games complete with half-time shows, beer commercials, and TV time-outs! If your players do well you win…nothing!

Wii Happy Hour – Blow off steam after a hard week’s work with this roll-playing game that allows you to get plastered, make fun of your annoying coworkers, threaten to quit if your boss does some minor grievance one more time, and stagger home drunk while complaining about having to go home to your vengeful wife and ungrateful kids – it’s the happiest hour on earth!

Wii Lotto – Pick your numbers and then wait a day for the results! You won’t get any money if you actually win so you’d still be making as much money as you’d make with the real lotto!

Wii Medicate – Back acting up? Bowels not really moving? Burning sensation down there? Well, take the proper pills with this Wii self-medicating simulator! Remember, if all else fails there’s always oxycotton!

Wii Dance – Hold the wiimote in your hand and get down. Unlike other dancing games that require a dancemat and fancy footwork, this game actually docks you points if you display any concept of rhythm or looking cool! It’ll be just like your last Holiday Party minus the disapproving stare of your boss!

Wii CBS – Trivia and mini-games featuring CBS’ primetime line-up! Includes content inspired by NCIS, Two and a Half Men, CSI and all of its spin-offs, Cold Case, and plenty of other programs targeted at that all-important 55+ demographic!

Labels: humor, videogames

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