Flashing #50 - Urban Legend

Friday, June 05, 2009

Quick intro – have a rehearsal dinner to prep for:

1) Yes, the grammar and spelling is purposely horrible, this is supposed to be an email-style “ZOMG BARACK OBAMA IS A MUSLIN” urban legend.

2) It’s inspired by the original memoir.

3) There likely won’t be any new stories next week. I’m going on a cruise for my honeymoon and I don’t have enough in the bank to autopost. I’ll try to rectify that on Sunday but it seems unlikely.

4) I’m getting married tomorrow – dope!

More Flashing at the main page!

PS - This is #50 - how cool is that?
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Ok, this might sound unbelievanle but I promise you this is 100% true.I have a friend that works at the department of justice. He told me that theres this guy that works there thats kind-of there cover up guy, you know? Hes the guy that you go to when you have a legal problem that cant really get out into the papers. He finds ways to fuck with the legal process and make it so certain little bits of info never get out. You know what I mean, right?

So this guy misses work for a full week, right? And thats kind of strange because this guy never misses work – hes a fucking boy scout. Hes the kind of guy that got the schools perfect attendance award every year. So its weird that this guy would miss a single day, let alone an entire week.

So my friend did some snooping. Turns out the guy was working some case, the details where kind of sketchy, something about some kid in Germany – dissident or expat or something – that was making a bit of trouble somehow. I honestly dont know what was said or what happened or who the kid was but, to say the least, DOJ and the administration didnt really want this guy to go to jail at all. I mean, they were fucking ADAMENT ABOUT IT.

tHE doj GUY, HE DIDNT SEE ANY ANGEL ON THIS KID AT ALL. i MEAN, THE KID ROYALLY FUCKED UP ON SEVERAL LEVELS, HIS ACTIONS WERE VERY PUBLIC (i THINK HE EVEN BLOGGED ABOUT IT), AND PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT AND HUMILIATION WERE EMINENT. sO THE doj GUY DID THE ONLY THING HE FELT LIKE HE COULD DO ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. hE TOOK THE FUCKING FALL FOR WHATEVER THIS GUY DID.

nO SHIT, THIS GUY WAS SO DEDICATED TO HIS JOB THAT HE ASSUMED ALL OF THE CRIMES BEING ATTRIBUTED TO THIS CONNECTED FUCK IN gERMANY. sO NOW THE doj GUY IS IN prison FOR A GUY HE NEVER MET, DOESNT EVEN GIVE SHIT ABOUT, AND ALL BECAUSE OF SOME SPOILED BRAT WITH FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES WHO DIDNT WANT TO ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHATEVER IT WAS THAT HE DID.

iSNT THAT CRAZY? i DONT EVEN WANT TO STAY LATE AT MY JOB AND THIS GUYS GOING TO PRISON FOR HIS. LOL!!!

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