Flashing #42: Dream

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I was going to do stream of conciousness today but I said, "Let's make it really challenging," and went with a dream, instead. A dream is really the ultimate stream of conciousness anyway. Raw, unfiltered, evolving - little things spark little memories and little memories grow to possess the dream and change its course. This was fun to write - I honestly just closed my eyes and typed and I'm happy with what came out.

It's inspired by the original memoir, of course. If you want more Flashing, head on over to the main page.

____________

The plane shakes, my drink spills, it’s on my lap, the stewardess gives me a napkin, “can you help me?” she pats down my shirt sleeve that’s soaked through with blood. “I need to sleep, how do I sleep?” She gives me a pillow and the stewardess is Michelle from grade school, “what’ve you been up to?” I ask her and she doesn’t look recognizable at all, “flying planes,” he responds and I realize it’s my cousin RJ and he’s crying.

I’m walking down the street and it’s raining and there’s a man behind me I don’t see him but I feel him and he’s getting closer I hear his feet but I don’t see a shadow but that’s because the light’s in front of me so if I turn around I’ll see his shadow behind me and I turn around and Robin’s there and she’s silent and I say, “Long time no see,” and she laughs and says, “May the force be with you, too.” I turn back around because I don’t see the shadow and I wonder if Becky, my dog, is OK and she probably is so I walk further down the street and my plane lands and I say, “I didn’t get any sleep during this flight at all,” and Robin says, “you shouldn’t have stayed up all night playing video games,” and I say, “but what else was I supposed to do?” and he says, “sleep,” and I say, “you’re always telling me what to do, Chris.”

The bar is smoky and there’s a man in the corner with an eye patch and plaid pants and I know he was the guy that’s following me and I say to the bartender, “that’s the guy that’s following me,” and the bartender only speaks German and she says, “Como te llama?” and I say, “I don’t speak German can you find me someone that speaks English because that guy is dangerous,” and I look and the guy lifts his eye patch and it’s Mel Gibson and I say to him, “I loved you in Braveheart,” and his face is blurry and his drink is empty and he orders another and I’m walking down the street, alone, and it’s raining and I hear the pitter patter of footsteps behind me and Mel Gibson says, “you want a drink shorty?” and I think that this guy is shorter than me and I say, “You’re shorter than me,” and he stands up and he’s up to my knees and it’s funny and the bartender laughs in German.

Robin says, “You should sing a song,” and I get up on the table and I sing, “I feel good, you know that I would now, E-I-E-I-O,” and no-one’s dancing and I go to a market and I have some sausage and I have a beer but the glass is empty and now it’s filled with apple juice and I can taste it and my mom’s there and she says, “you shouldn’t drink beer,” and I say, “but it’s apple juice,” and Robin says, “it’s grape juice,” and I say, “Oh, yeah.”

And I keep singing and the guy with the eye patch boos me the whole time and I want to murder him so I pull out my blueprints and it’s the design for the house I want to build for Robin and I get out my pen and I cross out the guest house and I tell Robin, “Mel Gibson’s not allowed here,” and she says, “of course not,” and I feel safe for a minute and I hug her and I kiss her and I tell her I love her and she says she loves me and she’s making out with the girl from Big Love, the young wife, and I’m getting so fucking horny and…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Snooze.

I’m in the bar and Robin’s not there and I don’t know where she went and Mel Gibson’s not there so I ask the bartender, “Chris, did you see where Robin went?” and Chris just looks at me and steams and I don’t know why I don’t know what I did and I ask, “Have you been following me?” and he pulls out a knife and I know better so I walk away but then I kick it out of his hand and laugh and ask for a beer and Katie Couric asks if I’m ready and I say, “NO, this is supposed to be a joint interview and she asks, “Where’s Robin?” and I say, “I lost her, let me call her,” and I get no reception and I panic and…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Snooze.

I’m back on the plane and Robin’s next to me and she’s not answering me but I see her right there and I hold her hand and I say, “silence is ok,” and she says, “silence is golden,” and we sit in silence and we watch Munich on the TV and I’m excited to be going home and I tell her that and she says, “but you were having fun in Germany,” and I say, “It’s more fun with you,” and I don’t feel like she gets it and there’s a longing there and it’s worrisome and I jump out of my seat and wrap my arms around her and she responds by kissing my cheek and I’m trying to move the love out of my body and into hers and I think she gets it and she’s crying and I feel empty because there’s nothing left to give and…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

I turn the alarm clock off and get ready for work.

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