Flashing #27: Choose Your Own Adventure

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Didn't you love CYOA books as a kid? I sure did. A couple of years back the DC Conspiracy tried to make a CYOA comic. It was too hard to organize, though, and the project just fell apart. I'm glad it did, however, because the genre anthologies we're putting together now are looking mighty fine. I have an 8-page story in the upcoming war anthology, I'll be sure to put ordering info up when it's available.

Anyway, the format works much better in prose - even when restricted to 1000-words for the whole piece. Today's entry is a variation of the original memoir. If you'd rather choose to read a different Flashing story, you can head over to the main page.


1. Your plane lands at the Munich airport. You usually have a difficult time sleeping on a plane, and the turbulence over the Atlantic combined with the fact that you simply didn’t drink enough alcohol made sleep impossible. It’s around 8AM Munich-time when you get to your hotel, 1AM back home. Your body wants to give up but your brain keeps telling it that this is your one commitment-free day in Germany.


If you decide to go site seeing, 
scroll to section 4

If you decide to take a nap first,
scroll to section 6.

2. You end up at the Schwabing neighborhood and it’s packed with people. You grab a quick bite to eat at a pizza window before finding a bar to settle into for the night. The hostess greats you in German and you have no idea what she’s saying. She grabs your phrase book to see if that will help the situation but comes up with nothing. You realize that she’s seriously cute.


If you believe she’s hitting on you and decide to make out with her
scroll to section 7

If you decide to stand idly by and hope you figure out what she’s saying via osmosis
scroll to section 9

3. You walk down Leopoldstraße, discouraged by the lack of people out. Just when you’re about to give up, you hear a sound in the distance that’s at first indescribable but eventually forms into heart-thumping techno music. The music is coming from a bus, packed with girls, guys, strobe lights, and stripper poles.


If you decide to follow that bus
scroll to section 2

If you decide that the bus is a red herring, and maybe you should go back to the hotel
scroll to section 5.

4. You’re having a wonderful time walking around Munich. You’ve watched the enormous clock at Marienplatz and sat in a pew towards the back of Frauenkirche. You had weisswurst at a local market and enjoyed a liter of beer (or two) at every beer garden you passed along the way. You even stopped at a German comic shop; although you didn’t buy anything because you were already well over per diem.

After hours of site seeing you decide to head back to the hotel for a nap. You hope that the evening will be half as fun as the day was.


Scroll to section 8.

5. You lay down in bed for an hour, trying to fall back asleep. But you already had eight hours of sleep and you’re hungry, your body is simply not having this. So you lay in bed until 6AM, staring at the ceiling and wishing you’d had just gone out. Your sleep cycle is off for the rest of the trip, and you’re in bed at 7PM every night, like a narcoleptic grandpa on Ambien.


The End.

6. You decide to check your email before napping and you see that your boss sent you some last minute instructions and work to take care of during your trip. You decide to get it all out of the way now, so that it doesn’t bog down your weekend. What originally seemed like a little bit of work actually ended up taking several hours. By the time you’re ready for your nap it’s close to 4:30 PM.


Scroll to section 8.

7. Slapped!
Scroll to section 9.

8. You set your alarm clock for 7:30 PM and lay your head down for much-needed sleep. When you wake up close to midnight, you’re not even sure whether or not the alarm clock went off. All you know if that you missed the entire evening, along with the potential debauchery and drunk-fueled mistakes that could have came with it.


If you decide to say, “fuck it,” and go out anyway
scroll to section 3.

If you decide to try and sleep the rest of the night
scroll to section 5.

9. The bartender steps in and says, “French? No. English? Ok.” She tells you that you need to pay one euro in order to become a life-time member of the smoking club, allowing you access to the bar. You pay a euro and have a seat.

You drink alone for a while until you meet some Germans that speak decent English. You end up talking all night, and the crew hanging around you swells significantly as the evening wears on. Shots of Jaeger are consumed. You vurp several times. By the time you’re ready to leave it’s 6AM and the bar is shutting down.


If you decide to make plans to hang out tomorrow 
scroll to section 11.

If you decide to end the fun right about here
scroll to section 10.

10. The next evening is a quiet one. You go out to dinner with coworkers before hitting up the hotel bar for a couple of drinks. You go to work during the day, call your fiancée in the afternoon, and see what you can of Munich in the early evening. It’s not the most exciting thing in the world, but it’s your life and you like your life.


The End.

11. You meet up with people the following night for an evening of karaoke. It’s not the same this time around; the crew you’re with talk German all night and eventually move away from the bar to a table. They invite you but you don’t see the point. You sing some James Brown and realize no-one gets it. You sing some Beatles and realize people now see you as an American, despite the fact that the Beatles are a British band. As you leave the bar, much earlier than last night, patrons and workers shout things like, “USA!” and “God Bless George Bush.” You leave the bar embarrassed and head back to the hotel.


Scroll to section 10.


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