Flashing #18: David Mamet

Continuing my week of homages with a little David Mamet love. It's not great, but it's certainly better than yesterday's e.e. cummings disaster. Once again, it's a take on the original memoir. Anyway, what can I say about Mamet? Love him. Often imitated, never duplicated. Tight and witty dialog, carefully selected accentuations, the occasional vulgarity, the pauses...and, of course, the subtext. That wonderful, wonderful subtext. I tried my best (well, the best I can do within an hour) and I kind of like what I have here, honestly. As a side note, Robin's not this bitchy in real life. But Mamet-speak needs edge, and I'm too much of a pussy to ever write myself with edge. If you want more Flashing stories go check out the main page. ___________________________

Jason: Hey baby how’s it…

Robin: Hello?

Jason: Hello? Can you hear…

Robin: I can’t hear you. Call…

Jason: Can you hear me now?

Robin: (Pauses) Hello?

Jason: Yeah, can you hear me?

Robin: Yeah. I hear you.

Jason: Ok, good. (Pauses)

Robin: Where are you?

Jason : The hotel.

Robin: Are you using your cell?

Jason: What?

Robin: Are you using…

Jason: No. No. Hotel phone. Listen…

Robin: Are you crazy?

Jason: (Pauses) What?

Robin: Do you know how much they’ll charge for international…

Jason: I got a calling card.

Robin: A calling card?

Jason: Yeah, and we’re wasting it right now so if…

Robin: Sorry.

Jason: (Pauses) You’re… “sorry?”

Robin: Yeah.

Jason: About what?

Robin: Wasting the calling card.

Jason: Well this isn’t helping.

Robin: Sorry.

Jason: Ok. Look. I just wanted to call and tell you I love you and…

Robin: I love you too.

Jason: What? Oh. Cool.

Robin: And?

Jason: And what?

Robin: What else?

Jason: What else what?

Robin: Well you get a calling card and call me from Germany…

Jason: I needed one anyway…

Robin: Ok, but still…

Jason: I needed one for work. It takes too long to…

Robin: Ok, still…why would you call from Germany just to tell me you love me?

Jason: Because I do.

Robin: Doesn’t that seem a bit suspicious…

Jason: What? No, it’s…

Robin: I mean, tell me about your trip, you know…

Jason: I was going…

Robin: So how’s your trip?

Jason: Good. It’s good.

Robin: What did you…

Jason: Today? Today I went to the English Gardens. It was cool. There were surfers there and beer gardens. They had an ice cream cart with vanilla custard. You would have…

Robin: Ok, so why didn’t you call to tell me about that?

Jason: What? Vanilla custard?

Robin: Yeah. Vanilla…

Jason: Because I fucking love you, isn’t that a good enough reason?

Robin: What did you do last night?

Jason: What?

Robin: Last night. What did you…

Jason: Just got some dinner…

Robin: What did you get?

Jason: Pizza.

Robin: Pizza? In Germany?

Jason: I overslept. All of the restaurants were…

Robin: What time did you go out?

Jason: I slept until, like, midnight.

Robin: Midnight?

Jason: Yeah, midnight. It sucked. But I got some pizza and went to a bar. I met…

Robin: You went to a bar?

Jason: Yeah.

Robin: By yourself?

Jason: By myself.

Robin: At midnight?

Jason: More like 12:30.

Robin: Sounds like more than dinner to me.

Jason: Well you didn’t…

Robin: Didn’t what?

Jason: Let me finish. You didn’t let me fucking…

Robin: Ok. Finish.

Jason: (Pauses) So I met up with some locals and we drank all night and it was fun. The end.

Robin: Uh-huh.

Jason: Uh-huh.

Robin: What are you doing tonight?

Jason: Same bar as last night. It’s karaoke…

Robin: Uh-huh.

Jason: Uh-fucking-huh. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Jerk-off all night? In Germany?

Robin: Just saying.

Jason: “Just saying.” You’re not just saying shit. You’re just uh-huhing.

Robin: Uh-huh.

Jason: Look, I just called…

Robin: I’m just saying you’re sounding guilty…

Jason: Guilty?

Robin: Yeah, guilty. That’s all.

Jason: You cut me off every fucking…

Robin: Ok. Go.

Jason: Go?

Robin: Ready. Steady. Go. (Pauses) Go. (Pauses) Sweetheart.

Jason: My phone card…

Robin: Go.

Jason: Ugh. Ok. I had a lot of fun last night, ok? I had a shit load of fun. But at the end of the night it was just me walking back to the hotel and…

Robin: Oh, I’m so sorry you couldn’t find some skank…

Jason: Ready, steady?

Robin: Ok. Go.

Jason: I was walking back to my hotel and I kind of realized that all of this sucks. Without you. I don’t know, I kind of sometimes think that I missed something. In my past, you know? Like I finished school and went straight to work and everyone around me was doing these road trips and euro trips and…

Robin: Like me, you’re saying?

Jason: Not specifically but, well, yeah, that makes it even worse. You know, I haven’t really experienced much, you know that. I haven’t really…I never really traveled, I never really had crazy times…

Robin: I think…

Jason: What?

Robin: Nothing. Sorry.

Jason: Ok. So, you know. I thought, “Here I am. Germany. By myself. A couple of days with nothing to do. Let’s just, you know, live a little.”

Robin: Live a little?

Jason: Well not live live. Just live.

Robin: Ok. Just live.

Jason: And I was out last night, you know. Living. I mean, first of all, everything sucked. Slept in late, everything seemed dead. But I found a cool area and I was having fun.

Robin: You were living.

Jason: Anyway. Everyone went home and I went to the hotel and I said fuck this.

Robin: (Pauses) Fuck what?

Jason: This. Everything. Germany. I don’t fucking know. The point is, it’s done. It’s passed. Maybe it was all something that would have made me happier when I was 22 but…

Robin: But you’re 30 now…

Jason: Yeah, right. I’m 30 now but beyond that I have you now, you know? You’re a game changer.

Robin: A game changer?

Jason: Well, yeah. You changed the game.

Robin: That’s romantic…

Jason: Fuck you, I’m not finished.

Robin: Ok. Finish.

Jason: (Pauses) I just love you is all.

Robin: I love you too.

Jason: Good.

Robin: Good.

Jason: I gotta go. My phone…

Robin: What did you get, a five minute card?

Jason: No I used it for…

Robin: I’m just kidding. Go.

Jason: Ok…cool. Can’t wait to see you.

Robin: Me too.

Jason. Cool. (Pauses) Bye.

Robin: Hey!

Jason: What?

Robin: I love you.

Jason: I love...

Robin: And keep your dick in your pants again tonight.

Jason: What? That’s…

Robin: I’ll make it worth it.

Jason: (Pauses) Oh. Ok.

Robin: I’ll make you feel like you’re 22.

Jason: Oh. Yeah, sounds like a plan. Love you.

Robin: Yup. Got that. Later.

Labels: flashing

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