The Fate of America

I would move to Firenze in a heartbeat. Buy an apartment, get a job whittling wood or something, and spend the rest of my time eating great food and drinking fantastic wines. I'd practically live in museums, I'd bike through the hills of Tuscanny constantly, and I'd walk along the Arno every night without ever worrying about what needs to be done tomorrow.  The problem is, it's difficult to just up and move to Italy. The work visa problem is a bitch and the property thing is a bitch and chances are Robin and I would be kicked the 'f out within several months and I'd have a difficult time regaining my clearance for my good 'ole U.S. of A. job. It's frustrating but it's life.

However, thanks to some famous Russian crackpot Academic who has obviously never been to America a vision of America's future it seems like my Toscana Dream could become a reality as soon as 2010 when the EU takes over Atlantic America. Here's the map (via WSJ):



Nothing wrong with that, right? I mean, sure, within the next two years the US certainly could go completely to shit. And within those same two years the EU could expand their membership beyond "European Nations" and include, you know, anyone who wants to join. And within those same two years the people of Mississippi would become totally cool with Mexican rule. And within those same two years the Mormons of Salt Lake City Utah would gladly give-up their religious freedoms in order to become a part of China. Hawaii going to Japan? Sure - they're both islands and it's not like Japan didn't already kick the shit out of Hawaii - what could possibly go wrong with that? And Alaska going to Russia makes sense because then Sarah Palin actually could see Russia from her house...which will be on Russian land...in case you needed that one explained to you. And within those same two years Montana would...wait...Montana's not part of Canada?

Well, since futurism is all the rage and I know how to color a map here's my take as an American "Academic" on what the US will look like in 2010:



I'm not sure where I'd want to live when this scenario comes true but, as usual, it certainly wouldn't be Kansas.

Labels: humor

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