Undercover Mother

On Sunday night I posted a link to this article on Twitter and let the world know the woman in the article (Doreen Quinn Guiliano) was my cousin. I didn’t think much of it, but within an hour I received reply tweets, emails, instant messages, and phone calls. Being an opportunist, I figured I’d dedicate an entire blog post to this distant relationship.

Yeah, that’s right – distant. Doreen is my mother’s second cousin, so I guess that makes her my third cousin? Fourth cousin? I probably met her at one of our family reunions but, honestly, can’t say I remember it. In fact, before the murder trial I only knew Doreen as the woman with the haunted house.

The Haunted House. Legend has it a pediatrician was murdered in the house Doreen lives in and, as a result, the souls of dead children now haunt the joint. I don’t know what the connection was between the children and the pediatrician and I admit that the legend is a particularly weak legend and seems like the kind of story an old aunt made up after sipping a little too much sambuca. Regardless, my mom swears that the house is haunted.

Story goes: my mom and my cousin Dawn were over Doreen’s house for a Tupperware party when the door flies open and slams against the wall. No-one enters. Anyway, a little while later Dawn goes to the bathroom and while she’s sitting on the toilet she feels something brush by her. She gets so freaked out that (according to my mom) she runs out the bathroom before she’s done…if you know what I mean.

Anyway all the stories come out: the child-like laughing, the sounds of little feet running around, and the constant brushing-by of little invisible children. Apparently Doreen’s little kids all had cereal in the mornings despite the fact the boxes were in the highest pantries, well out of reach. And one day Doreen’s daughter’s feeding tube was turned on and no-one knows how it happened.

I’m not making this shit up. Maybe someone else is, but I’m certainly not.

So that’s really all I knew of Doreen. That and the fact that her devotion and level of care she gave to her daughter Mallory (who would be my sister’s age today) is what allowed the girl to live as long as she did. The doctors certainly didn’t give her four years. So, all-in-all, Doreen sounds like the kind of mom that raises the bar when it comes to “doing anything for your kids.” I have to respect that, at least.

As far as the murder trial – like I said, my mom kept me updated. She actually went to the courtroom once but that’s not my story to tell. To be honest, I heard the details of the case, saw the other defendant was named Russo, and figured my distant cousin was guilty, as well. The Russo name just carries that sort of weight in my old neighborhood.

If the trial was indeed unfair I hope he gets a fair shake. If he was indeed guilty I hope he’s found guilty again. If he’s innocent – well – what a fucking story, huh?

I will say one more thing - seeing these newspapers talk about the Ghetto Mafia and initiations and possibly being a offshoot of the Crips - it's kind of like H.S.T.'s recollections of newspaper reporting on the Hell's Angels. Look, I was in a "gang" as a kid. There are gangs and there are "gangs." Even if the Ghetto Mafia is a gang, the newspapers saying they're an offshoot of the Crips makes them a "gang." It's hard to take anything that was said at that trial seriously if the Crips were even mentioned once. Right now someone from the Crips is reading that story and saying, "Who the fuck are these white boys?"

I mean, seriously. If you read the link in that last paragraph I talk about how I was a member of the 4-Deuce Bishop Crips. Someone moved to my neighborhood from OKC, claimed to be a Crip, and started our little gang. Me. This guy:


Here was my crew:


Yeah, I was a fucking Crip. Not saying my distant cousin is innocent, but I think the media and trial folks need to take a step back and reassess that particular aspect of the story and maybe stop sensationalizing the gang angle.

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