The Newest in Hip-Hop

I got my hands on a pamphlet going around to corporations that aims to pair hip-hop stars with international advertising campaigns. There were some interesting pieces in there, such as...

“It’s Me, Fifty, On Your Ringtone” By 50-Cent - In a move destined to corner the ringtone market, 50-Cent has agreed to team with Verizon Wireless to produce this track for his newest album, Ringtones. The track will consist of 50-Cent name-dropping the 200 most-popular names in the English language and informing each of them that he’s on their ringtone. Verizon is expected to distribute the song one line at a time.

Sample lyric: “Hey Maria, it’s me. It’s Fitty, on your ringtone.
Hey Brian, it’s me. It’s Fitty, on your ringtone.
Hey Jeremy, it’s me. It’s Fitty on your ringtone.
Hey Paul, it’s me. It’s Fitty on your ringtone”

“How My Dictate?” By Soulja Boy - Soulja Boy’s follow-up to his platinum-selling album souljaboytellem.com (working title: http://www.myspace.com/souljaboytellem) will take his keen sexual innuendo (established with fresh rhymes such as, “superman that ho”) to the next level by asking every dance club across America how his dictates. Already branded “grammatically offensive” by the American Federation of Teachers and “simply offensive” by the National Organization for Women, this track is guaranteed to light up the charts!

Sample lyric: “Hey girl, how my dictate? How my dictate? How my dictate?
Do you understand me?
How my dictate? How my dictate? How my dictate?
Do you get it?
Take this down girl. Take this dic…
…tate. How my dictate? How my dictate?”

“Yankee Doo-Doo’s No Dandy” By new talent Yankee Doo-Doo - We found this young, hip, nine-year old rap prodigy through a “Hot”lanta-based talent agency and he’s going to make the radio stations “Doo Doo” their pants! The first single features a fly beat from hip-hop super-producer Mr. Collipark that mashes up the sound of cash registers, a jet
crashing into an Ethiopian village, and a dope version of the familiar classic “Happy Birthday.” Massive cross-over appeal for that all-too-important youth demographic.

Sample lyric: “That’s Yankee Doo-Doo to you.
That’s Yankee Doo-Doo to you.
That’s Yankee Doo-Doo, I ain’t no dandy.
That’s Yankee Doo-Doo to you.”

Other sneak peeks include the next “Hard Rapper Meets Hollister-wearing Rocker” hit, the next rap/dance move from down in the Dirty South (The Polio), and the newest hip-hop inspired fashion-trend that’s going to have every Chinese sweat-shop's foreman on every American designer's speed-dial.

Labels: humor, music

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