The Moose in the Closet: New Kids On The Block

I set the DVR to record the Vice Presidential Debate and the Dodgers/Cubs game. I put on what constitutes “hip clothes” for me these days and smiled as Robin got all dolled up, blasting old New Kids On The Block albums throughout the apartment. We made our way to the metro station, she was giddy and I was apprehensive. I purchased these tickets months ago, before the MLB playoffs were even a consideration and before the importance (or even dates) of the VP debate was known. To put it bluntly, I did not want to go to this concert anymore.

I got them for Robin thinking she’d want to take a friend. I was surprised when she said she wanted to take me. NKOTB was a huge part of her childhood. She had the merch and the albums. She got to see them once, as a kid, and she had nosebleed seats in the upper levels of Foxboro Stadium. NKOTB was to her childhood what G.I.Joe, Transformers, comic books, and the Muppets were to mine – everything. I guess she just wanted me to experience it with her which is fine because I want to know everything about her.

Now let me start by saying that I had an OK time. I got to eat at Fuddruckers before the show and that’s always a treat, I had some beers, and the concert itself was enjoyable. It takes a lot for me to admit that I enjoyed the concert – I was actually the president of my Elementary School’s unofficial chapter of the NKOTB Hate Club. But my enjoyment of the concert came mainly from the spectacle. I have never seen or experienced anything like this in my life. Tens-of-thousands of girls SCREAMING as if God’s angels were coming down from the heavens, kicking-off the rapture. Dancing, singing, CRYING.

This:

In a way, I kind of admire this level of collective memory and devotion. I can’t think of a single thing in this universe that would make me lose my shit the way these girls were losing their shit. A Pavement reunion tour? I’d probably buy out all of their local shows and then sit back and chill. The ghost of John Lennon and George Harrison touring with Paul McCartney and Ringo? I’d tour the world with them if I had the resources. A Mets’ World Series or a Jets’ super bowl? I’d certainly “WOOOOOO” a whole fuck of a lot and I may even tear up a little bit but my excitement level would never come close to what any girl in that audience last night was experiencing.

It was fucking unreal. And like I said, the NKOTB weren’t bad. They were actually kind of entertaining. But I was just standing, watching, and occasionally moving my feet a little bit. Hands crossed or in my pocket for 95% of the show. I didn’t even clap after any of the songs. There was no point – any noise I made would have been lost. I was completely incapable of showing any sort of appreciation or emotional response. Anything I could have done would have paled in comparison to the response the sea of women was giving. I’ve never felt so inadequate and unnecessary in my life.

On the plus side, though, there was never a line at the men’s room.

Debate response is coming this afternoon. I just need to touch it up over lunch.

Labels: music

New Kids On The Block - Verizon Center

Friday, October 03, 2008

1 Comments

Previous Posts