The Moose In The Closet

On January 19th, 2005, Jason Rodriguez began a year-long project that would eventually chronicle the first 22 years of his life. He called the project the Moose In The Closet. Jason posted new stories five days a week for an entire year. 263 stories totaling 207,744 words (with daily blog ramblings at the beginning of each story, not included in the final word count). Not all of the stories were gold, of course. Some of them were quite horrible, in fact. It was all unedited and unfiltered. But they were honest, they were often humorous, and Jason's storytelling abilities improved as time went on. Below is the complete index of all 263 pieces. Jason's personal favorites have asterisks next to them.

1/19/2005 - Origin
1/20/2005 - Free artwork! And something about my roof on fire as a kid...
1/21/2005 - Pink Shirts
1/22/2005 - Forbidden Love
1/24/2005 - Moving and a Preview of Things to Come
1/25/2005 - The Roller Coaster...Of Love
*1/26/2005 - The Day Mike Got Shot
1/27/2005 - Random Tomato Paste Breaks
1/28/2005 - Accidentally damning Poppy to hell (or why I never “swear” anymore unless I really, really mean it)
*1/29/2005 - Learning to Drink
1/31/2005 - Breaking Walls and Physics
2/1/2005 - Hulk Smash Puny Sink
2/2/2005 - The housee becomes the houser ("housed" as in "thoroughly beat" - for all the white boys – or black people that don't remember the dope early 90s)
2/3/2005 - Politics and I (or Can it be that it was all so simple...when?)
2/4/2005 - Antidentite and Proud
2/7/2005 - 1986
2/8/2005 - Manhunt Manhunt 1-2-3 1-2-3 1-2-3
2/9/2005 - Luckily They Don't Make Concrete Shoes In Toddler Sizes
*2/10/2005 - The Gang Fight
2/11/2005 - G Gets The Hulk
2/14/2005 - The Perk
2/15/2005 - Porn, Puberty and a Lack of Respect for Personal Property
2/16/2005 - Trumpin'
*2/17/2005 - Prelude to Junior High
2/18/2005 - I totally punked out
2/21/2005 - A Week of Birthday Stories Part I
2/22/2005 - A Week of Birthday Stories Part II
2/23/2005 - A Week of Birthday Stories Part III
*2/24/2005 - A Week of Birthday Stories Part IV
*2/25/2005 - Hooker Hand
2/28/2005 - Disrupting Differentials
3/1/2005 - A Shout-out To Snow
*3/2/2005 - The End Of Pranks
3/3/2005 - Joe Sacco (Not The Comic Guy)
3/4/2005 - Bunny Drug Sex
*3/5/2005 - The Jacking Of Strings
3/8/2005 - Homerian Ethics
*3/9/2005 - Nick
3/10/2005 - Citronella Fire Pit Of Death
3/11/2005 - Having It Made
3/14/2005 - Swallowing Quarters
3/15/2005 - Your Mother Fucking Roots
3/16/2005 - The Fight
3/17/2005 - Dick Trumps Deaf
3/18/2005 - Omar Becomes O-Dog
*3/21/2005 - The Piss-Drunk Piss
3/22/2005 - The Party
3/23/2005 - The Ski-less Ski-trip
3/24/2005 - Coming Clean and Not At All
*3/25/2005 - Prelude to 423
3/28/2005 - The Worst Way to Spend Fifteen Minutes (Not Including Sympathy Sex, Although I Should Have Got Some For It)
3/29/2005 - Uncomfortable Chris, the Potential Sexual Deviant
*3/30/2005 - Sentimental Bullshit
*3/31/2005 - The Opposite of Sentimental Bullshit
4/1/2005 - Ring-Induced Retardism
*4/3/2005 - La Familia
4/4/2005 - La Casa
4/5/2005 - La Invasión de Boston
*4/6/2005 - La Carta
4/7/2005 - El Funeral
4/11/2005 - Born to Fuck?
4/12/2005 - Visiting Arizona
4/13/2005 - SEX!
*4/14/2005 - God's Gift
4/15/2005 - 13 Rules
4/18/2005 - The Big Straw
*4/19/2005 - My Father's Persistence
4/20/2005 - Back To The Swords
4/21/2005 - Thrashin'
4/22/2005 - Picture This
*4/23/2005 - 423
4/25/2005 - The Almost Greatest Accomplishment
4/26/2005 - Two Greeks
4/27/2005 - Greeks Gone Wild
4/28/2005 - Molotovs
*4/29/2005 - Death Says "Hi"
5/2/2005 - Chinskimo
5/3/2005 - The Tipping Point
*5/4/2005 - My Field Of Guilt
5/5/2005 - Invading The Outdoors
5/6/2005 - Pornographic Baby Steps
5/9/2005 - Hanging Out On Ocean Parkway
5/10/2005 - Bootlegs
5/11/2005 - Walkin' On By The Birds And The Bees
5/12/2005 - Type-Herb
5/13/2005 - I'm gonna make you a comic shop you can't refuse
*5/16/2005 - La Famiglia
5/17/2005 - Florida
5/18/2005 - Staten Island
*5/19/2005 - Uncle Mike
*5/20/2005 - Family Business
5/23/2005 - Diggidy Dorks
5/24/2005 - Celtic Idiots
5/25/2005 - Killing Clapton
5/26/2005 - Becoming Moose
*5/27/2005 - Words Fail Me
*5/30/2005 - The Power Of Bad Writing
5/31/2005 - The Aspiring Artist
6/1/2005 - Doing Or Dying
6/2/2005 - Projecting Pain
*6/3/2005 - FASHION RAMPAGE!!!!
6/6/2005 - Magic Shrooms
6/7/2005 - Social Disorientation
6/8/2005 - I Dream Of Strippers
6/9/2005 - Breakdowns
6/10/2005 - Summer Money Attempt #1 (Variant Source)
6/13/2005 - I Don't Mean A Thing (If You Ain't Got That Sting)
6/14/2005 - The Outdoorsman
6/15/2005 - The Mad Gardener
6/16/2005 - Slapping Dat Ass
*6/17/2005 - The Moose Comes Out Of The Closet
6/20/2005 - Shot-puts
6/21/2005 - Lettin' A Playa Play
6/22/2005 - Magic Glasses
6/23/2005 - Tap Water Of Death
*6/24/2005 - The House
6/27/2005 - Ground Zero
6/28/2005 - The Latino Strikes Back
6/29/2005 - Black & White & Red All-Over
6/30/2005 - Movie Making

The following ten stories were from guest writers while I took a break from the blog.
7/4/2005 - Guest Writer: Guam tells "Dangerous Minds - No, Really, They're Fucking Dangerous"
7/5/2005 - Guest Writer: Sean Maher tells "Me and Chuck Down By The Schoolyard"
7/6/2005 - Guest Writer: Jay Busbee tells "Of Love And Hospitals"
7/7/2005 - Guest Writer: My Mom tells "Stories About my Dad"
7/8/2005 - Guest Writer: Chris Fabulous tells "Pep Rally Riot"
7/11/2005 - Guest Writer: Joshua Hale Fialkov tells: "Mike"
7/12/2005 - Guest Writer: My Sister tells "Stories About my Brother"
7/13/2005 - Guest Writer: RJ tells "AZ ain't for Me"
7/14/2005 - Guest Writer: PJ tells "Filling in for the RA"
7/15/2005 - Guest Writer: Robin tells "What Really Happened"

We're back to my stories now. In case you care about this kind of stuff, I never including the above eight stories in my final word count and I actually wrote stories every Monday through Friday for a year and one month. Everyone needs a vacation, though, and the guest writer thing ended up producing some of my favorite stories.
7/18/2005 - The Last Date
7/19/2005 - The Truth About Fireworks
7/20/2005 - Proof That I'm An Asshole
7/21/2005 - The Harshest Critic
*7/22/2005 - My Blow-Up Romance
7/25/2005 - No Knees On Muppets
7/26/2005 - Lining up
7/27/2005 - The Force Was With Us
7/28/2005 - Da Don Dada
7/29/2005 - Pictorial Adventure #2
8/1/2005 - Tales from a Smoker: My Bad Day
*8/2/2005 - Tales from a Smoker: Me Vs. My Mom
8/3/2005 - Tales from a Smoker: The Efficient Smoker
8/4/2005 - Tales from a Smoker: My Weakest Moment
8/5/2005 - Tales from a Smoker: Livin' in a Smoker's Paradise
8/8/2005 - 5 Nights at Jillian's: Bad Feet
*8/9/2005 - 5 Nights at Jillian’s: Bad Ankle
8/10/2005 - 5 Nights at Jillian’s: Bad Lighting
8/11/2005 - 5 Nights at Jillian's: Bad Night
8/12/2005 - 5 Nights at Jillian's: Bad With Women
8/15/2005 - My God: Father Fox
8/16/2005 - My God: The Alter Boy
8/17/2005 - My God: Communion
8/18/2005 - My God: Douches
*8/19/2005 - My God: Losing It
8/22/2005 - On the Way Down: Selling Shirts
8/23/2005 - On the Way Down: The Last Catering
8/24/2005 - On the Way Down: Ithaca
*8/25/2005 - On the Way Down: Back to Boston
*8/26/2005 - On the Way Down: The Lack of Communication
8/29/2005 - A Decade of Dancing: Put On Your Dancing Shoes
8/30/2005 - A Decade of Dancing: Busting a Move
8/31/2005 - A Decade of Dancing: Prom
9/1/2005 - A Decade of Dancing: The Challenge
9/2/2005 - A Decade of Dancing: The Cruise
9/5/2005 - Mindless Destruction: Brooklyn Heights Falls
9/6/2005 - Mindless Destruction: The Roots of Destruction
*9/7/2005 - Mass Destruction: Egg Raid
9/8/2005 - Mass Destruction: The Pool
9/9/2005 - Mass Destruction: The End of Achilles
9/12/2005 - Gridiron: Bumper Passes and Concrete Downs
9/13/2005 - Gridiron: This One Time, In Football Camp
9/14/2005 - Rogue Gallery: Gilbert
9/15/2005 - Peanut Gallery: Sleazy Steve
9/16/2005 - The Peanut Gallery: Abe
*9/19/2005 - Peanut Gallery: Josefrero
9/20/2005 - Peanut Gallery: Mohamed
*9/21/2005 - Peanut Gallery: The Angel of Death and Norbert
9/22/2005 - Peanut Gallery: Dan
9/23/2005 - Peanut Gallery: Eric
9/26/2005 - The Mamms: First Flashes and Flicks
9/27/2005 - The Mamms: Take Two
9/28/2005 - The Mamms: Learning Lucky
9/29/2005 - The Mamms: Boobs for Doobs
*9/30/2005 - The Mamms: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
10/3/2005 - Playing with Balls: Blue Balls
10/4/2005 - Playing With Balls: Open Palms
10/5/2005 - Playing With Balls: Rounding the Bases
*10/6/2005 - Playing With Balls: Suicide
10/7/2005 - Playing With Balls: Hall of Fame
*10/8/2005 - Mom-a-dukes: The Cook
*10/9/2005 - Mom-a-dukes: The Doctor
10/10/2005 - Mom-a-dukes: Judge, Jury, and (Lousy) Executioner
*10/11/2005 - Mom-a-dukes: The Compassionate Nurturer
10/12/2005 - Mom-a-dukes: The Patient
10/15/2005 - The New Tech: HBO
10/16/2005 - The New Tech: Getting’ Digi Wit’ It
*10/17/2005 - The New Tech: My First Vibrator
10/18/2005 - The New Tech: Button Mashing
10/19/2005 - The New Tech: I Get Around
*10/22/2005 - The Passion of the ’88: There Was Nothing Wrong With ‘87
*10/23/2005 - The Passion of the ’88: What’s a West Coast?
*10/24/2005 - The Passion of the ’88: Thuggin’ It
*10/25/2005 - The Passion of the ’88: Dr. Octagon to the Rescue
*10/26/2005 - The Passion of the ’88: The Rapture
10/31/2005 - People Who Hate Me: Avenue I
*11/1/2005 - People Who Hate Me: Beck
11/2/2005 - People Who Hate Me: Mike
11/3/2005 - People Who Hate Me: Mr. Levington
11/4/2005 - People Who Hate Me: The Unlucky Parker
*11/7/2005 - The Moose’s Closet: The Tease and Other Fucked-Up Shirts
*11/8/2005 - The Moose’s Closet: Hat Buyer’s Remorse
*11/9/2005 - The Moose’s Closet: Got the Timbos on My Toes and This is How it Goes…
*11/10/2005 - The Moose’s Closet: Mother Fucker Better Accessorize
11/11/2005 - The Moose’s Closet: Halloweenie
11/14/2005 - Taxed! – Everyone Pays Their Taxes
11/15/2005 - Taxed! – Joe Tomo’s Treasure Chest
11/16/2005 - Taxed! – My First Discman
11/17/2005 - Taxed! – Good Eatin’
11/18/2005 - Taxed! – Condemnation
11/21/2005 - The Peanut Gallery: Mormon Josh
11/22/2005 - The Peanut Gallery: Nando and Gieke
11/23/2005 - The Peanut Gallery – James
11/24/2005 - The Peanut Gallery – Steph
11/25/2005 - The Peanut Gallery: Sam
*11/28/2005 - Sex Panther: The Young Cub
*11/29/2005 - The Sex Panther: Challenging the Mind
*11/30/2005 - The Sex Panther: Survival of the Fittest
12/1/2005 - The Sex Panther: Nourishment
12/2/2005 - The Sex Panther: Panther's are Sober for a Reason - I deleted this some time ago because I talked about wanting to fuck a good friends' girlfriend. I regret deleting it and I can't find a back-up.
*12/5/2005 - Definitive Brooklyn: The Extended Family
12/6/2005 - Definitive Brooklyn: The Long Commute
*12/7/2005 - Definitive Brooklyn: The Sweet 16
12/8/2005 - Definitive Brooklyn: The Block Party
12/9/2005 - Definitive Brooklyn: ‘Round Town
12/12/2005 - Alcohol Will Destroy You: What Really Goes Down at Ron’s House
12/13/2005 - Alcohol Will Destroy You: Fuck ‘Em
12/14/2005 - Alcohol Will Destroy You: Dad, College. College, Dad.
*12/15/2005 - Alcohol Will Destroy You: RJ, College. College, RJ.
12/16/2005 - Alcohol Will Destroy You: And the Dining Hall, Apparently
*12/19/2005 - Junior Summer: After Joe’s
*12/20/2005 - Junior Summer: Rewind
*12/21/2005 - Junior Summer: Stutter Stepping
*12/22/2005 - Junior Summer: Turn Back Time
*12/23/2005 - Junior Summer: The Rest of the Summer
12/26/2005 - New Beginnings: Times Square
12/27/2005 - New Beginnings: The Interview
*12/28/2005 - New Beginnings: Not-So-Instantly Refreshed
*12/29/2005 - New Beginnings: Life
*12/30/2005 - New Beginnings: The Choice
12/31/2005 - Busted: Buying Time
1/2/2006 - Busted: Uhh…it’s OK, You’re Not Busted
1/3/2006 - Busted: My Name is Jason. I’m From Maryland
1/4/2006 - Busted: Your Problems Suck
1/5/2006 - Busted: Big Mouth
1/9/2006 - Junior Year: Tales of an RA
1/10/2006 - Junior Year: Romance
*1/11/2006 - Junior Year: The Theater
*1/12/2006 - Junior Year: Turning 21 (Both in Age and Blood Alcohol Concentration)
1/13/2006 - Junior Year: Last Days
1/16/2006 - Reading, Writing and Political Assassinations
*1/17/2006 - The Reunion
*1/18/2006 - Bits
1/19/2006 - Pets
1/20/2006 - My B, B
1/23/2006 - Sweat Shop
1/24/2006 - Paint Ball
1/25/2006 - Putting the Mega in Jesus Christ
1/26/2006 - Gross!
1/27/2006 - Toys
*1/30/2006 - Beginnings: The Speech
*1/31/2006 - Beginnings: Cutting Out
*2/1/2006 - Beginnings: Moving Out
*2/2/2006 - Beginnings: Bye Bye Boston
*2/3/2006 - Beginnings: The First Day

Labels: mitc

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