The Moose in the Closet: Adult Parties: Whig & Velvet

I guess once you graduate college you start going to “adult parties”. I find that adult parties are the same things as college parties except everyone’s trying to size up and see who makes more money than them. My first year out of college I found myself going to the equivalent of frat parties – nothing’s changed, bunch of dudes living together and throwing a party, most people are single.

Which is why I really bombed with my first “adult party”, I think. It was one of Robin’s coworkers, a freelance producer they used on a close-to full-time basis for their shows (Robin’s first job was at a post-production house where they put together various TV shows for Nat Geo, Discovery Health, etc). She was older than us, likely a little over thirty – they just bought a house in Georgetown (which, if you don’t know the area, means they had some serious cake). It was a “Wig & Velvet” party – the invitation said to wear a wig and wear some velvet. Seemed easy enough, right?

The day of the party Robin and I go to the Salvation Army to see what we can find. I find this velvet-like track suit and figure it would be really funny if I went to the party thug-themed. Robin agreed. I went to this Sally Beauty Supply joint next to the Salvation Army and purchased some braided extensions and a doo-rag; I used the rag to secure the extensions. I looked straight thug.

4 Life.

Robin had a velvet shirt and a silvery wig, if I remember correctly. It doesn’t matter – all that matters is that she wasn’t the one who stood out like a soar thumb.

We get to the party, I know nobody there. Everyone’s older than me, it seems, everyone’s white, and 95% of the people there looked like our founding fathers, wearing white wigs all curled up and velvety (non-lounge) suits. Some of the girls had outfits similar to Robin – everyone had dark colors and looked all dressed up and completely comfortable.

I had a bright blue track suit, braids, a doo-rag, and sneakers. I felt like an idiot. I’m usually the woo-hoo party fuck what everyone thinks type but at this moment, I just wanted to go home. And it got worse.

Everyone thought I was a pirate.

I had to explain what I was and all the white bread at the party had no idea what I was talking about.

“You know – I’m kind of like a thug. Like, how they dress in Compton. Well, it’s not really a stereotype, I mean, it’s how they dress in Compton. No – I’m sure white people dress like this too. Ok, so maybe not just Compton…”

It was excruciating. All these cut-off but compassionate white folks with serious paper all thought I wore the equivalent of a modern-day black-face to this party. Robin was having fun, I was trying to have fun but I instead found myself hiding behind the food table and swallowing cocktail shrimp, occasionally escaping for a cigarette.

One girl shows up to the party – about my age, dressed like Robin’s dressed. We get to talking – she’s trying to get a writing thing going as was I (not comics, at the time) so we hit it off well.

One could say I was flirting.

Robin caught me and instantly shot me a look, I excused myself. Told Robin, “Ok, I was flirting a bit, but she’s the only one talking to me. Can we go?”

Robin tells me to chill out and mingle – she takes me around with her. I end up having a good time, meet some new people. With a couple of beers in their system people become less judgmental. Robin introducing me as Jason Rodriguez gave me more minority cred, too, so my costume didn’t seem as racist to them at that point.

We ended up being the last couple to leave. Thanked everyone for the wonderful party and drove home.

We weren’t invited to another one but that one wasn’t so bad at the end of the day.

Labels: mitc

Adult Parties: Whig & Velvet

Monday, July 17, 2006

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