Jason Rodriguez - The Moose in the Closet: Man Alone: Hope for the Worst

Robin’s away for almost three weeks – she’s taking an international marketing class in Singapore and Malaysia. This is the longest we’ve been apart for quite some time. After that first summer we spent together in DC, Robin had to go back to Boston to finish school. We spent a year apart but even then we’d see each other every three weeks or so. At the end of the year, however, Robin went to study abroad in Spain. I was pretty pissy about it, I was all jazzed up to get our life really started together only to find out there was going to be a two month delay.

Looking back I now realize I was being an idiot. Here we are, seven years together, and those two months in Spain were nothing. I encouraged her to take the class this time around. But man, the couple of months leading up to Spain – that was me at my lowest.

I guess part of the problem was that R, the two year relationship I was in before Robin, went to Europe for a month and promptly broke up with me upon return. I always had suspicions that she cheated, not so much anymore (mainly because I stopped giving a shit many years ago), and I didn’t want the same thing to happen with Robin.

So I’d always talk about things like ETA bombings in Madrid – I even read a book on the Basque and painted them to be these bloodthirsty savages always carrying out attacks, trying to nonchalantly scare her into staying home. I decided that I was going to move into a new apartment while she was in Spain, this way if she wanted any say in where we lived she’d have to stay in the states. I would find vacation deals for the time she was going to be away and do the whole, “Oh – we should go to Italy! They’re having a great deal the week of…oh…you’ll be in Spain.”

At one point I was very forward and just said I really wasn’t too excited about her decision to go. I think this was where my true feelings on the matter started to come out though, and there was certainly a touch of jealousy. You see – I started working the week after I graduated college. No vacation, no time off. Busting my ass five days a week, flying down to Boston when I can and flying her to DC when I was too busy to come to Boston. And I guess the mentality that I’ve adopted was, “Why does she get to go away for two months?”

I’m really good at that, actually. At least I used to be. Really good at feeling entitled.

Anyway – I told Robin that I didn’t think it was fair. I can’t believe she’s still with me. But she knows me, you know, I think a good relationship is one where a woman knows how childish her man can be. She tells me to meet her in Spain for a couple of weeks at the end of her abroad program. It momentarily calmed me down, but I was still a bit paranoid she was going to cheat on me.

The day she lost her passport was the happiest day of my life. It was a couple of weeks before her trip. I thought she was screwed – there was no way she’d replace it in time.

Well, she did.

She was leaving two days after her graduation. The day after her graduation I was supposed to be in Cape Canaveral for a business trip. I actually told her I don’t think I would be able to make it to her graduation, I was so upset that she was going to Spain, but the disappointment in her voice made me change my mind real quick.

I go to her graduation but can’t even make it to the celebration dinner. I’m on an airplane to Atlanta to meet up with a plane that’ll take me to Melbourne Airport. I take a forty minute cab ride to my hotel on the beach. By the time I get in it’s late, I call Robin to wish her a good trip – she thanks me for making it to her graduation.

The she’s off to Spain and I won’t see her for two months.

It’s an interesting two months – filled with loans, fights, houseguests, apartment searching, moving, let-downs, and strippers. It’ll take a couple of months to get through, I’m thinking – especially at the rate I’m updating. I came out of it somewhat changed but still 60% asshole.

Man Alone: Hope for the Worst

Thursday, June 15, 2006

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