Jason Rodriguez - The Moose in the Closet: All Grown Up

Well, it’s 1:30AM and I just got home from work (got into work at 9AM).

It’s not like I had to be at work as late as I was, I was the last one in the building when I was going to leave (around 8:00PM) and I discovered that the alarm system was busted. Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to leave my building with the alarm turned off (government secrets and all) so I had to call the company that handles our security system and since we’re a DoD system they had to dispatch their “emergency technician” who I was told will be at the office “within 4 hours.”

Well, it was pretty much exactly 4 hours before he showed up.

But it was fine, I got a lot of work done and I’ll probably stay home tomorrow in the name of “comp time”. Plus, I had a pretty cool epiphany last night that I’d like to share.

Last year the DC Conspiracy took a road trip to the Frank Frazetta Museum. I was one of the drivers and I had Chris Piers, Evan Keeling and Deb Orgel in my car. On the ride up there, in between rounds of “Fuck, Marry, Kill” and “Who Would Get Laid First” we’d throw out some profound questions that everyone needed to take turns answering.

One of these questions was, “When did you first feel like an adult?”

At the time my answer had to do with a recent situation with my parents, when they got into a little trouble and needed my help and I actually had the resources available to help them out. Within 24 hours of their request I had everything settled. It was a very “adult” moment – my parents, the people who guided me and helped me through the years, felt like they could turn to me in their time of need and I was able to take care of everything.

Tonight, however, I kind of remembered a moment that pre-dates that story and is likely the true moment I first felt like an adult.

It was my second month out of college, I’ve been working at my new job in my new city and I had my first big project – I had to work late to prepare for a presentation later in the week.

At the time Robin and I were still getting our shit together – when we first moved to DC we spent three weeks living in two different hotels until finally moving into this little studio apartment. The first night we make makeshift pillows out of our clothes and sleep on the floor, the second night we buy an air-mattress but no pump – we spent the evening blowing it up with our mouths while downing cans of Budweiser. The next day I bought a TV, a week later we got a chair.

And that was it for about a month. An air mattress, a JVC TV I got for free from Radio Shack by signing up with MSN for three years and a chair. So, it was still kind of like college except with a $900 rent.

No car, either, so I’m taking the bus and train to work – again, still feels like college life.

But this one night I was working late. The other people in the office began to trickle out until I was the last one in the building. I had my top button opened up, my shirt untucked, my tie thrown in my desk drawer – I reeked of cigarettes because I’d go out every thirty or forty minutes and suck down two Parliament Lights in an attempt to clear my head.

I was putting in the hours and by the time I left work it was a little past 2AM. I set the alarm in the building and took the elevator down to the first floor – step outside to the humid air and the dark streets, this was in McLean, Virginia – a city that shuts down at around 10PM every night, right when the mall closes.

There’re no cars in the parking lot – no cars in any of the parking lots for the neighboring buildings, either – I’m likely the only person out and about on Jones Branch Drive since the street is nothing but a strip of office buildings. I have a cigarette and dig out my cell phone, call a cab company and they tell me it’ll be thirty minutes.

I sit outside chain smoking, on the steps of my building, just thinking about life, DC, Robin – whatever was going on at the time. Cab pulls up and I tell him where I live, he lets me know it’ll be expensive to go all the way to DC and I just kind of smile and he understands – I really don’t have a choice.

We talk all the way home – I tell him I’m new to the city and that I’m starting to like it, starting to feel comfortable. In retrospect he likely took me for a ride because we’re coming up Connecticut Avenue from Adams Morgan (a route which makes no sense) when I see the 7-11 and ask him to let me out.

I go into the 7-11 and get a coffee, just felt like drinking one, and walk the rest of the way. It’s about two miles (uphill) but it was a nice summer night, I was already late, and I just felt like doing some thinking. I put the headphones on and walk slowly. By the time I get home it’s close to 3:30 in the morning, Robin’s already sleeping.

I take a shower, go on-line and check some email and lay down to fall asleep. And I was laying there drifting off, I distinctly remember feeling proud. I think that night was the first night that I really felt like I was “on my own” – and that’s a pretty adult feeling.

It popped into my head tonight when I was leaving at 1AM, no cars in the parking lot. Driving home on the empty streets – looking for a parking spot – finally getting home and seeing Robin sleeping in bed, dog barking at me from under the covers. I remembered exactly what it felt like on that night.

Anyway, I should go to bed. – what about you all? What was the first time you felt like an adult?

All Grown Up

Thursday, March 16, 2006

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