A Ninja in a World of White Shirts

Couple of things going on in my little world of comics, first.

First off, Josh made the Punk website public (and shared some pages). Great little book, first issue is massive amounts of fun, art by Kody Chamberlain – get on it early. And while you’re getting on books early, swing on by the World’s End blog and give us some love.

Caleb Monroe’s Red Chapel is available for preorder over at Dimestore – get yourself a copy, it’s illustrated by Noel Tuazon (from Elk’s Run) and there’s a five page back-up story in it I did with Jacob Warrenfeltz (of the soon to be released Alberic Heresies). So please, go, order the book – you’ll like it.

Also, since I’m now 92% sure the secret project is going ahead and I’m starting to bring more and more people into the fold I think I should start teasing you all a little bit – you know, to keep this blog interesting (just keep in mind there's a chance this may not happen). So every time I post I’ll drop a hint. And today’s hint is…

It’s going to be using ideas we come up with at The Hive – essentially putting my money where my mouth is.

Juicy. Speaking of The Hive, the third column is up – it’s all about handling preorders and getting your book to pay for your book. Go, read, comment – throw out your own ideas. Keep in mind you’re not just mouthing off – the output of these discussions are going to guide the production of an attempt at creating a new market for comics - so please, people, spread the word - the stakes are likely going to get much higher.

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So yesterday I had a meeting with a guy who’s notoriously long-winded – there’s no “quick chat” with the dude, he keeps going off on tangents and he’s so bad at it that people call him on it, to his face, and constantly remind him to stay on subject. I did what any sane man would do when confronted with such a meeting, I text-messaged Robin and told her to call me in seven minutes.

Seven minutes later I’m free and my coworker is left to deal with the rambler.

Back a couple of years ago I was much more efficient with this process – I had this dinosaur of a phone, all the keys exposed with nice, big buttons so it’s easy to guide my finger along the key pad. If I found myself stuck in a position I didn’t want to be in I was actually able to put my hand in my pocket and within thirty seconds – without once looking at my phone – send Robin a text message that said, “Call me”.

It looked like I was playing pocket-pool, of course, but I was usually pretty smart about when I made my move.

I’d use that technique all of the time – seriously, certain people would comment about how weird it was that my cell phone would always ring whenever I talked to them.

“I know, right? How weird…”

Now my phone is this crazy-ass Motorola that’s only available in China. Touch screen, fucking stylus – I can’t get out of those impromptu meetings anymore and I when I find myself stuck; I need to start making up excuses as to why I need to leave.

So – someone needs to invent a little device that can be used to trigger your cell phone in five minutes. You don’t want to be, well, this guy…

One day I was at a friend’s place and just needed to get the fuck out of there – unfortunately Robin was with me and I couldn’t use my mammoth phone to text message her discretely. So I kept ducking behind walls and quickly setting the alarm on my phone since it’s essentially the ring tone. Except I kept fucking up – setting AM instead of PM, finally getting it right only to realize the phone is on vibrate (and you really need the ring – the ring just feels more urgent – tells the person you’re talking to that you need to take this call).

After several attempts at getting my phone to ring (accomplished by me inexplicably disappearing for thirty seconds every couple of minutes), I finally get it right – it rings, I take it out of my pocket, put it up to my ear and walk away from my friend while saying, “Hello”. I have some fake conversation in the kitchen for a minute, come back and tell Robin we need to go.

It was honestly the most pathetic attempt at conversation dodging of all time – and everyone knew it.

I need a device that saves me from ever doing that again. I mean, I can’t put my hand in my pocket and have my phone ring instantly – it needs to work on a timer so no-one correlates my hand being in my pocket with my phone ringing.

But until that day…

During the five minutes I was at the meeting yesterday, the guy went off subject about four times and said “like what I did during the Gulf War,” about 20 times. Nothing better than someone who’s still ego-tripping over something he did fifteen-years ago.

Labels: mitc

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