Conversation with Jon Wye

Johnville: well done filling the word count

Johnville: very little content

Johnville: congrats on elks run though

stringboy220: huh?

Johnville: that's what i do, when in doubt talk about you time machine

Johnville: i'm teasing i liked how you carried the theme

Johnville: and were humbled at the end

stringboy220: whatever, it's all lies

stringboy220: lies i tell you...except for the part about hating that fucker, josh

Johnville: my time machine ain't no lie bitch

Johnville: i go back in time and smack you when you born

stringboy220: bring it. i had a strong pimp hand when i was a babe

Johnville: then i smack you in the womb

stringboy220: you'd have to get through my momma's pimp hand

Johnville: don't make me smack yo daddy when he laying it down for moms

Johnville: My time machine is all powerful

stringboy220: i'll pick up my baby form in the past, bring it to when you make your machine and instruct my babe-self to pimp slap you

Johnville: if you could do that you would be deserving of the highest price i can give... a half bucket of chicken

stringboy220: i would take that bucket back in time, trade it for stock in Sears or Bell telephone and make millions, hiring a bodyguard for myself to deflect your slappage

stringboy220: dude, you are so losing this game

Johnville: i was trying to wind it down but you brought it and now you about to get served like the dollar menu at MAC Donalds

Johnville: little did you know that I had already taken over the identity of Robuck, as in Sears Robuck, and created a clause in the company charter to seek out and find you when you become 18 and make you the new CEO. You rise to great power and wealth and are surrounded by beautiful women, but you are sad... you don't know why you can't hold a relationship. I answer that question for you. I hired a hit man, not to kill you, but to depants you in front of a superbowl audience that sear was sponsoring. Your depantsing reveals a condition known only as micro-penis, an condition I gave you through a retro virus that I slipped into a half bucket of chicken that I gave your pops. He gave you this micro-penis gene, which had a second part to it, it altered chemicals in your brain to make you think you were well endowed. Only when the whole super bowl crowd sees your affliction do you realize what you have been living with. Now you are the laughing stock of the word while at the same time one of the most powerful.

Johnville: BAM

Johnville: oh oh oh-ma-god, looks like someone got the crudmonkeys kicked out of them

stringboy220: nope, boss here. replying soon

stringboy220: I see you fell for my ruse. It was all an act, you see. I used my time machine to go into the future, the time of the Super Bowl incident. It just so happens that I was collecting information on sporting events outcomes in an attempt to make bank off of betting. I witness the whole thing and launched what will soon be known as the greatest counter offensive in history. I employed Zylor X. Xaxor, the great biologist from the year 2096 to create a vaccine for Small Penis (the medical term for it, not "micro-penis" you insensitive brute. The Small Penis you saw at the Super Bowl was a prosthetic, a prosthetic made from the cast of your penis that I injected with the actual Small Penis retrovirus. Have you stuck around a day after the Super Bowl fiasco you would have noticed the cover of the new Sears catalogue, the feature item being a model prosthetic penis from the greatest attack of all time, proudly to be displayed on one’s mantel. And that penis was yours, Jon Wye. It’s called the Jon Wye Small Penis.

stringboy220: We moved 500 million units in two months and it has been featured prominently in various pop-culture publications and rap videos. Your move, fuck-face.

stringboy220: looks like your done. it was nice playing the time-game with you

Johnville: I joined this pyramid scheme but still no pyramid... I don't think those salesmen were real Egyptians

(At this point, some time has passed, Jon closed his window and my IM came in as he was typing to someone else)

stringboy220: loser

stringboy220: ok, sorry to butt in on your post

stringboy220: but that was the best line ever