SPX, Commentary, Jorge, Fabio and Mass Destruction: Egg Raid

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I got a half table for SPX. Much thanks to Ron Philips and Kevin Melrose who had a full table but only needed half of it. So, the DC Conspiracy will have a table and Hoarse & Buggy will have one as well – you can come by for Elk’s Run, WToT, The Dr. Dremo Anthology and information about the Counter Culture Festival. I can only imagine I’d be holding onto mini comics from some friends as well.

Audio commentary for Elk’s Run #2 is up, this time it’s a 40 minute conversation between Josh and I in which I say "friggin" about 345 times. Download it, listen to it, and friggin enjoy it.

Jorge Vega shared his own tale of destruction in the comments section yesterday worth checking out.

Fabio Moon, the genius artist behind Ursula and Smoke & Guns (both produced by Ait), has something brewing on his (and Gabriel Ba’s) blog that has me very excited – you can see where it might be going and where it might be going is good. Like “Understanding Comics” and “Comics & Sequential Art” rolled into a nice little easily digestible and non-pretentious package. Part 1 and part 2, for those that want to get learn-slapped.

Story time.
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Halloweens in Brooklyn back in the early-90s were the most horrific ordeals any kid can ever go through. I try to explain it to people who were in other cities and they just can’t fathom it – they usually think I’m lying or extremely exaggerating because their brains just can’t process the level of destruction that took place.

Even our parents couldn’t fathom how bad it was. We would cry and beg and plead with them not to send us to school but they’d give us the same line, “You’re going to school – it’s just a couple of eggs.”

But it wasn’t and that’s what people don’t understand. If it was just a couple of eggs it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, admittedly.

A lot of the grocery stores in our neighborhood stopped selling eggs to kids the week before Halloween. Whereas selling eggs to kids was a lucrative business, the reality is that their store was going to get pelted both inside and out. So there were fewer eggs on the street despite the great demand.

This led to a couple of phenomena that we see in other industries. Bootlegs, for instance. What’s a bootleg egg? A rock. With shaving cream on it. Ever get hit in a head with a rock? It’s not fun and the only think more humiliating is getting hit in the head with a rock and having the shaving cream get in your eye at the same time. Nothing like running home with your head bleeding and eyes stinging.

Another trend was to maximize the impact of a single egg since they were so scarce. Putting Nair in (or on for the low budget, non-engineering types) the egg was always a favorite for boosting the damage an egg can make. Cracked in the head with a Nair egg and by the time you get home you have a nice bald-spot formed where the egg hit. It’s even better when it leaks down to your eye, partially blinding while leaving hairless stripes on your eyebrows. Going into school the next day looking like a mutant was always fun.

And these were the projectiles that I can look back and laugh at.

Some of these guys were like fucking MacGyver with an egg. Finding ways to attach razor blades to them and replacing the insides with battery acid. When the “trick” in “trick or treat” is melting somebody’s fucking face off, you know Halloween went too far.

My elementary school would let us out early as if that mattered. We still had to make our way through Junior High land to get home and it was like a fucking warzone. Running behind cars, getting pelted with rocks and razor blades, chunks of hair falling off as we ran. Your friend gets blinded and you have to decide whether or not to carry him home or leave him behind. You decide to help him and an egg just misses you, hits a wall and instantly starts to peel off the paint. You wish your blinded friend good luck and run like a mother fucker.

Eventually our parents realized that Halloween has gone well beyond eggs, shaving cream and toilet paper. Public outcry leads to a crackdown on kids trying to kill each other once a year. Halloween went from dangerous projectiles to straight up punching, but it’s a lot easy to outrun a kid then it is to outrun a battery acid-filled, nair coated, razor spiked egg hurtling at your head.

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