Plug Fo' Delf and It Don't Mean a Thing (If it ain't got that sting)

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Little bit of self-promotion today. I started a weekly column over at the DC Conspiracy blog entitled “Here’s the Thing…”. Designed primarily for writers trying to break into the business (but other talents can get plenty out of it as well), it is the brutally honest truth about my observations into the comics’ industry so far. I’ll be updating every Friday and so far I’ve gotten good feedback from the message boards and friends I’ve tested it with (even a couple of “Thank you, so much” type emails). I have plenty of fun stuff planned. I’ll be using dirty words and themes like “lying”, “back-stabbing” and “vanity press”. And the really fucked up part, two of those things are good for you. And one of them isn’t vanity press.

Secondly, I have an interview on Tuesday with the editor of the Washington Spark, an alternative newspaper down here in DC. They need a new cartoon editor and I’m more than happy to do it for them. I’ll keep you all posted.

_________________

Yesterday I got to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy do a free concert at Crystal City. It was pretty bad-ass and it reminded me of Junior Year in college, when swing peaked, and every Thursday night my friends and I would go to the Roxy and swing the night away as a live band played on stage.

It was good times. I wasn’t very good at it but I had a blast. Guam would come out almost ever week as would Scott who was probably one of the better dancers out of all of us. We’d bring some ladies with us, obviously, and we’d also dance with ladies we met at the club.

We occasionally did the whole dress up thing. Guam and I bought suits at the Salvation Army, same cut, different colors. Mine didn’t fit too well but I tried to incorporate that into the look. I actually posted a picture of the suits one time. Observe:



As Jim Carrey would say, “Sssssssmokin!” The trophy had nothing to do with swinging and everything to do with Upper Bay State Road winning the RA academic cup.

“Sssssssmokin!”

One time we sort of had a weird group. I know R was there (and this was junior year, after we broke up) and my boy Attila. I think Scott was there and at least one more girl. Not sure. This was the end of junior year because we were drinking; Roxy wasn’t the type of club to fall for fake-IDs. I remember Attila and I going up to the bar and ordering our first-ever martinis. The Roxy was swank and the Martinis were twelve bucks a pop.

I actually said to the bartender, “I’ll have a martini. Shaken, not stirred.” She just rolled her eyes, no doubt hearing that at least nightly from the designated biggest dork in the club.

She served up our martinis and I was grossed out right from the start by the humongous, unnatural olive that was sitting in the glass – I despise olives and this wasn’t going to be good. Took a sip and gagged. It had to be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever drank. I don’t waste alcohol. I’ve chugged some nasty stuff before because I think it’s a sin to waste alcohol. But I walked around with the martini for ten minutes, didn’t take another sip, and then ditched it in the trash. A twelve-dollar martini. Attila did the same.

I promptly went back to my beer.

Anyway, we’d always try new moves out and one such move was the one were you put your leg over the girls head (while holding her hands) and pull her through your legs (she slides across the floor). Always a favorite, gets the ladies wet.

Anyway, Attila wanted to try it out (it’s the first “advanced” move you try with Swing because it’s really quite easy and looks cool as fuck) and he grabs R, does some set up moves and then boots her in the head.

When I was younger (I’ve told this story) I watched as a plastic bag flew into my Grandma’s face and firmly attached itself there. As she struggled to get it off, she fell down and began to roll around the floor. I tried not to laugh. Do you know that feeling? When you’re not supposed to laugh and it actually hurts so bad to hold it in?

Imagine that times a million.

Watching my ex-girlfriend take a boot to the head in a crowded club had to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I mean, she fell back. She got fucking rocked. It was like a kung-fu flick. While she cursed and covered her swelling eye I turned to Attila, smiled and gave him five. He smiled back and said, “That was awesome.”

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