Elk's Run in Stores, Contest Reminder and Sentimental Bullshit (tough in the title, wuss in the post)

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Elk’s Run is in stores today, harass your retailer. If he doesn’t have it, tell him to get it on reorders, order #FEB052900. And if you’re going to tell him that, you might as well remind him that issue 2 is soliciting in April, order #APR052944.

Also, I sort of launched a contest yesterday and Blogger’s comment thing-a-ma-bob went haywire, as it does 90% of the time. If it’s working again today, I’d like to once again call your attention to it. Already smoked out one lurker, who’s next?

I’ve been alluding to her several times, so let’s just get it out there. There are certain characters that I just feel weird talking about. I’ve treated them badly at times and right now our friendships just simply don’t exist anymore and they really should. So I kind of feel like I don’t want these people to stumble across this blog and see me talking about them, as if I had any right. But, they’re too big to not be in my story, I miss out on too much without including them. So, I’m going to start by introducing a girl that I’m just going to call R.

R was my first girlfriend. She wasn’t first at much of anything else but we spent two and a half years together, my folks loved her, she came to family functions and I went to hers (except one and I still feel bad about it), we each had draw space and bathroom space at our respective places. It was my first full-on, away from home girlfriend experience.

We met in high school and the circumstances around our meeting were kind of odd. She was cute, no doubt, and fun, but a completely different crowd than my dope smoking and ambitionless friends. I told my friend One Ball Paul that I wouldn’t mind going to the prom with her, hypothetically. Paul told her and she asked ME to the prom and I said yes.

There was a build up to romance. One day we ditched class and went to see James and the Giant Peach. We had the theater to ourselves and decided to spend the time practicing our dancing for the prom since she knew a couple of dances and I knew how to sway to the music. We waltzed around the theater to the soundtrack of James and the Giant Peach, laughing the whole time.

We both decided to go to BU, our decision uninfluenced by each other. I think at that point the progression of our relationship was inevitable. We had our first date a week later.

I’m a bit of a romantic when I meet the right person. With R, I sort of called on some of that charm. She came to my neighborhood, my home turf. We took a cab over to the Promenade which you’ve most likely seen in every movie that takes place in New York City, best view of the Manhattan skyline you will ever see for free. We ate at La Traviata, on Montague Street, my favorite Italian Restaurant back then, and then walked down to Promenade and sat on a bench for a while. We held hands for the first time. Came back to my place, this was high school so my parents where home, which was fine because I always cover my bases. We went to my roof, which has an amazing view of Manhattan and is a prime vantage point for sunsets over the skyline. I had a radio up there waiting and a dozen sunflowers, her favorite flower, which I had to special order from California because they were out of season on the East Coast. We waltzed as the sun set, Manhattan behind us, and we kissed for the first time. And it was one of those great kisses, too. The kind you work for, the culmination of all your efforts and all of the waiting.

It’s sort of fitting that our relationship ended at my parents’ house, two and a half years later, while we were home from college. This time the parents weren’t home. I was clueless, I set up this cheesy sequence of clues written on tiny pieces of papers and hid them all over the apartment. At the end of the sequence there was some present, I don’t know what it was and it really didn’t matter. She went through the motions, me following her every step of the way, smiling my ass off, thinking I was king shit.

When she was done, she turned and her reaction was not what I expected. The tears, the shaking lip, the nervous look…so I asked her, “You’re breaking up with me?” It was really that obvious. She did and I protested, rather pathetically, with a combination of crying, begging, pleading and requests for last kisses. I got my last kiss and I tried to make it count, I tried to make it the kind of kiss that changes peoples’ minds. But in the end it was really just a kiss, just like they all are.

It’s the circumstance that makes a kiss.

She left. I walked her halfway to the Carroll Street train station. I was going to go the full way but I turned back, I couldn’t stomach it. This was the summer between Sophomore and Junior year, right in the middle of the complete 423 story. I just got off of a horrible semester academically. Is till thought aliens might kill me. I had no job; most of my friends stayed at their colleges. Junior year I was taking an RA position on campus and all my friends were moving off campus. Josh, one of my better friends, was going to try to get back on track with his faith (Mormon) and was going on a two year mission. My other good friend, Mickey, was transferring schools. At this point, I honestly felt like R was my whole life and it just fell apart.

I think I was so dependant on her that I didn’t see any of the signs. I mean, I almost ass fucked a hooker for Christ sakes and I thought it was all perfect between us. The thing is, R was supposed to leave me, I think. It just sort of fit, it fit the whole story in the end. I’ve been talking about this 423 story from day one and some of you probably think it’s going to be this ultra cool, absolutely incredible story that’s going to blow minds. It’s not, this is what it is. It’s a series of things like this that, in the end, just sort of fit.

Sometimes, if you look hard enough, you can see life.

read a book, fanboy: James and the Giant Peach


posted by Jason at 6 Comments


Blogger Jorge Vega said...

"Sometimes, if you look hard enough, you can see life."


9:20 AM  
Blogger Sean Maher said...

Man, I just clicked on the link to that hooker story and it's a CLASSIC. I've got a pretty similar story, but it's not as good as yours... the part where you're yelling at her is FANTASTIC.

I love this blog, Jason. Love it.

So #3 was great, and I can't wait to read #2... some day. Really, sharing this kind of stuff is super-ballsy and while I can see why you're inclined to feel shy about it, I respect it. Keep it coming, please.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Jason said...


Thanks for the kid words, I've been digging your blog as well.

It is a bitch just throwing personal stuff out there, I kind of don't care what people think about me as much as cheesing off people that I care about by writing about them. I try to use nicknames and the like whenever I can. The other day at dinner my friend Max's girl says she was reading my site and Max and I just froze as I rifled through all the stories I told with him in it. He's in the clear...for now.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, I didnt know it was like that man....


11:08 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

What part didn't you know?

You were there about thirty minutes after she left, I just remembered that. You took your X-Wing over.

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What it all led up to. Thats what I didnt know. What I did know was you were in no condition to take your A-Wing on a trench run cause you had a little too much Jawa Juice.


11:04 AM  

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