I was at a bar last night and I watched some of the State of the Union on mute. Who needs to actually hear it, it’s the same shit every year. Bush says something; the Republican side stands up and claps; zoom in on Hillary or Ted as they roll their eyes and sigh or show a look of disbelief.

It’s just boring crap. None of it means anything. I wish it was a little more free-form, I wish Bush was like Donald Trump running the boardroom in The Apprentice. Just once I was to see Hillary roll her eyes and Bush turns to her and says, “Why are you rolling your eyes? Do you actually feel that you managed this project well? Because you didn’t.” All of the other senators see this as an opportunity to stay alive and as Bush goes down the row, asking each one which person should be fired, they all say “Hillary”. They exaggerate their asses off, Teddy says he fears for his life when ever Hillary is around and someone like that should not be allowed to run the country. Hillary tries to defend herself one last time but The Donald cuts her short.

You’re fired Hillary. You’re fucking fired.

But no, we don’t get that. Repeats of Alias and Lost so we can hear the word “freedom” 5,342 times while Cheney stares intently at Bush, ready to down him with a blow dart if Bush strays too far from the speech.

Fuck that.

I’m so cynical when it comes to politics. I’m leftist in my policies but as far as I’m concerned every Democrat is a cock-gobbling whore and the Republicans pay 25 cents every ten seconds to watch the senator on congressman action. It’s like mid-80s Times Square gone horribly wrong.

I tried to get involved. One summer I took a job with the Sierra Club going to door to door and hustling people for money. I was all hyped to be helping the environment but it was such a fucking joke. They were housed in this huge loft in the Village, primo real estate right around the corner from West 4th train station. I took a percentage of my “sales” home as pay and I sucked at it. Now, you would think that since it costs them dick to have me on board and as long as I was bringing in some duckettes that should be fine, they’re getting paid either way and every little but helps, right?

Wrong. I was fucking fired in three days. It wasn’t working out. I wasn’t bringing in enough money. It’s just another business, you know? A year later I was reading some article about the most successful “gen-Xers”. The president of the Sierra Club was number 1. How the fuck does some not-for-profit douche bag make millions upon millions of bills?

The part that pissed me off the most was when they were announcing who made the most money for the day and it was some kid, think his name was Mike, and they introduced him as a Shaolin Soldier. The kid was some dorky white dude with thick fucking glasses and he came up to shake someone’s hand and he was doing this really bad kung-fu thing. And it just pissed me off because there was no way this guy was a Shaolin Soldier. There is no way he can hang with the Rza, the Gza, ‘Ol Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghost Face Killah and the Method. Not to mention Masta Killa and Cappadonna, the two Wu members not mentioned in the intro to Method Man. Of course, Cappadonna didn’t become an official member of the Wu until Wu Tang Forever anyway, but I digress. That nerd could not hang with the Wu; Shyheim the Rugged Child would have kicked his ass.

But the Sierra Club, as an entity - they could hang with the Wu. Cash Rules Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M – get the money, dollar dollar bill ya’ll!

turn on some Wu, fanboy: Liquid Swords, Enter the Wu-Tang, Rza as Bobby Digital, Tical, Only Built for Cuban Linx, Return to the 36 Chambers

EDIT: I was just looking at the reviews for Only Built for Cuban Linx and one reviewer gave it 3.5 stars, said it was up there with Illamatic and if you didn't buy it you deserved to be shot. I want to see what he feels about a 5 star album.

EDIT (again): Never mind, that reviewer isn't really a reviewer at all. Apparently he's a robot that generates praise for Nas albums (and a few others) calling everything he ever listened to a "Must Have". He is officially my favorite robot of all time, despite his limited vocabulary. He needs an upgrade.

EDIT (again): God, it's so funny, but I'm so embarrassed that I have two albums where our likes cross (Illamatic and Only Built for Cuban Linx). This guy is too much. And he calls himself "The Best Rap Critic" as the coup de grace. Who the fuck is Haystack and why does he review all of their albums?