Hulk smash puny sink
I don’t have time for my usual post where I do a little blurb about my day and then tell a related story from my past. In case you really haven’t been paying attention, that’s the official format. Anyway, it’s 4AM, I just finished packing and cleaning the apartment and I’m tired. Movers how up at 10AM and I have to make one more Good Will trip first (my fourth, we got rid of MASSIVE amounts of shit…um…I mean high quality items we feel the poor deserve).
Anyway, tired or not I am trying to update this blog 6 days a week so I’m just going to go right into a quick story to keep you people happy. I’m a fucking martyr, bitch.
Before I started college I quit my job at the video store to work full time at my dad’s print shop. My dad was a dope printer, worked upstairs in the nice clean pressroom printing baseball cards. I worked downstairs where there were no windows, everyone spoke Spanish and the entire joint just smelled like rice, beans and Hispanic ass sweat (I’m allowed to say that – Rodriguez, remember?)
Anyway, I have a ton of stories from this place but a nice quick one that elaborates on my klutz tendencies described yesterday has to do with me sneaking a smoke in the bathroom (yeah, long ex-smoker, quit two years ago). Anyway, was tired so I snuck a smoke and sat on the sink to rest my legs.
The sink broke off the wall.
Did you catch that?
The sink broke off the wall.
I’m not a heavy guy now by any means. And back then I was a football player that could run a 5 second forty and a 56 second quarter mile, I wasn’t a fat ass by any means. But I was a klutz.
Anyway, when you break a sink off the wall water shoots out at you at an incredible rate. I spent about thirty seconds trying to stop it from coming out until I went outside to face the music, drenched from head to toe.
I told the maintenance guy that I was leaning against the sink to get a better look at my face in the mirror when I ripped the sink off the wall. I basically told him I was the Incredible Fucking Hulk – so goddamn strong that when I lean against sinks I smash them into pieces. I don’t think he bought it.
Anyway, I got to go to bed. I might throw out some more print shop stories tomorrow.
read a book, fanboy: His Dark Materials
turn off the metallica, fanboy: Revolutionary 2
Anyway, tired or not I am trying to update this blog 6 days a week so I’m just going to go right into a quick story to keep you people happy. I’m a fucking martyr, bitch.
Before I started college I quit my job at the video store to work full time at my dad’s print shop. My dad was a dope printer, worked upstairs in the nice clean pressroom printing baseball cards. I worked downstairs where there were no windows, everyone spoke Spanish and the entire joint just smelled like rice, beans and Hispanic ass sweat (I’m allowed to say that – Rodriguez, remember?)
Anyway, I have a ton of stories from this place but a nice quick one that elaborates on my klutz tendencies described yesterday has to do with me sneaking a smoke in the bathroom (yeah, long ex-smoker, quit two years ago). Anyway, was tired so I snuck a smoke and sat on the sink to rest my legs.
The sink broke off the wall.
Did you catch that?
The sink broke off the wall.
I’m not a heavy guy now by any means. And back then I was a football player that could run a 5 second forty and a 56 second quarter mile, I wasn’t a fat ass by any means. But I was a klutz.
Anyway, when you break a sink off the wall water shoots out at you at an incredible rate. I spent about thirty seconds trying to stop it from coming out until I went outside to face the music, drenched from head to toe.
I told the maintenance guy that I was leaning against the sink to get a better look at my face in the mirror when I ripped the sink off the wall. I basically told him I was the Incredible Fucking Hulk – so goddamn strong that when I lean against sinks I smash them into pieces. I don’t think he bought it.
Anyway, I got to go to bed. I might throw out some more print shop stories tomorrow.
read a book, fanboy: His Dark Materials
turn off the metallica, fanboy: Revolutionary 2
posted by Jason at
4:09 AM
1 Comments:
and the entire
joint smelled like rice, beans and his
panic ass sweat
Jason, did you realize you were crafting a haiku when you wrote this?
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