Pink shirts

Friday, January 21, 2005

It’s impossible to wear a pink shirt and not feel insecure about it. Technically, my shirt is pretty dope, Hilfiger style, like a salmon pinstripe. It’s styling, I will admit. But you see, I said salmon. It’s not salmon. It’s pink. When a guy says salmon he means pink.

What the hell is this all about? A woman can wear blue and feel good about it, there is no purely masculine colors. What makes pink so feminine?

I think I would be fine if I weren’t wearing a tie. The only tie I have that remotely matches my shirt is this grey and burgundy one. Again, a hot tie on its own, but paired with the shirt it clashes just enough so that someone says, “Wow, that tie doesn’t really go with that pink shirt. Oh shit, that dude is wearing a pink shirt.”

I had this shirt as a kid, it was the MOST atrocious shirt ever worn by anyone. This was probably 6th or 7th grade. Now, to set the mood appropriately, my whole family pretty much assumed I was gay when I was younger. I was a little limp-wristed, I can’t deny that. I remember my father sitting me down and telling me he’d love me even if I was gay which, is really cool that my father is that supportive, but he still thought I was going to end up a little on the gay side. Looking at old videos I shot of me practicing my dancing and picking daisies out in right field in little league I can’t blame my dad. He was a smart man, he saw the signs. I’m sometimes shocked that I’m not gay.

So the shirt was this “salmon” shirt except it wasn’t even close to fucking salmon, it was pink. And it had blue stripes. But the coup de grace, if you will, was this absolutely horrendous, humongous, white sailing emblem that was placed right over the left chest. It looks like I sown it on, it didn’t fit with the shirt at all. You combine that with the mullet I was rocking, the tight jeans and the lisp/high pitched voice I was the poster child for homosexuality is a trait that is there from childbirth. I was gay before I knew what gay was.

This shirt, today, is the second pink shirt I have ever owned. I just don’t think I ever got over that first one once I realized how wrong it was. If you think that’s weird, wait until you hear why I haven’t eaten coconut since I was five.

read a book, fanboy: Sanctuary

turn off the metallica, fanboy: Black Elvis/Lost in Space

Labels: mitc

posted by Jason at 1:06 PM 8 Comments

8 Comments

Graymalkin Lane said...: Thought this might help you feel a little bit better about your shirt... there's a gang in New York (and a couple of other cities, I think) that wears pink and black as the official colors. They've been known to beat the shit out of other kids who sport their colors. That's pretty tough and X-Y chromosonal, right?

In fact, hip hop impresario "Fat Joe" has been known to adorn his enormous, cap-riddled ass in all sorts of pink attire. He was quoted at the MTV music awards, a couple of years back, as saying "Pink is the new black, niggas. You real gangsta if you can rock pink, ya heard?"

Yes, fat ass, we heard.

You know what's funny though? That gang I mentioned, you know what they call themselves? P.Y.T. That stands for "Pretty Young Thugs". But, of course, everyone thinks of the Michael Jackson song when they hear "P.Y.T." In Michael's case, he meant "Pretty Young Things"-- which of course meant young, cherry-holed boys. Which is very, very, very gay. One has to assume that this fact crossed the mind of at least ONE gang member. Yet, they still chose to name themselves after Michael's butt plundering anthem.

So, upon further consideration, forget my earlier efforts at validating your machismo... you and your salmon colored shirt are quite gay.; 1:34 PM
Jason said...: I don't know if you read the F.A.Q. but you're not alowed to show up my posts with funnier posts. Sorry. Forum rules.; 1:49 PM
saulcolt said...: Wait a second........YOU'RE NOT GAY?

I have been telling everyone I know that I have a gay friend.

(this would be a good place for a winking smily thing)

saul; 2:47 PM
Jason Copland said...: This post has been removed by a blog administrator.; 3:07 PM
Jason Copland said...: This post has been removed by a blog administrator.; 4:25 PM
Jason Copland said...: sorry about the double post..... damn dirty computers!; 4:26 PM
Aaron said...: Sanctuary is a _sweet_ book.. I'm telling you... I'm gonna do the Sanctuary-like graphic anthology and accept writers' scripts, and never publish it.

I LOVED your script, J-Rod... don't worry... It'll be out soon!; 4:31 PM
hooray said...: You rocked that pink shirt with the sailor emblem all the way till 93, ya fuckin sissy.

peace; 1:02 AM

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Pink shirts

Friday, January 21, 2005

8 Comments

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