Birthday cards

I was looking for a birthday card for Robin yesterday. It’s weird, do you know that card with the cut out oval in the front, a portrait of Ulysses S. Grant through the oval and a message that says something like “Not many cards have an honest to God 50 dollar bill in them.” And then you open it and it’s obviously a portrait of Grant and nothing else and the inside says “Well neither does this one!”

That card was moderately humorous at first. I admit, I bought it for someone one year when I first started seeing it. It was a good card for the times.

But in CVS yesterday, everyone of the non-Shoebox Greetings “humor” cards where some variation of this basic card design. “Not many cards have two tickets to Cancun in them.” “Not many cards have pictures of naked women in them” etc, etc, etc.

When did this card become such a cash cow? How did this become the most bankable idea ever? And most importantly, who is still falling for this trick?

Why don’t they do this with other cards, not just birthday card?

Doctor: Hey, Jimmy, I got you a card.

Jimmy: Wow, doc! Thanks!

Jimmy (Reading card): Not many cards give you a clean bill of health.

Jimmy (Reading inside): Well neither does this one, you have cancer!

I ended up getting her a card with two flies on it, doctor and patient, and the doctor tells the patient “Stay away from the crap” or something like that.

We really need a better selection.

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